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I'm scared of angst...

I feel things...deeply.  Ha!  (<-painful, nervous, awkward, tortured laugh)


I've read Special Forces. It almost killed me. 

I've read In the Company of Shadows.  I'm pretty certain I actually died and miraculously, somehow came back to life at some point. 

I've read Second Chances.  I know for sure I can sob w/o breathing for about 2 minutes and then I'll need to at least gasp. 


These books HURT.  BADLY.  But, they're also some of my favorite reads of all time. 


I try to avoid angst because emotional pain wrecks my ability to live and act normally in real life.  I'm tormented and traumatized.  So, I'm a bit of a fluff queen. 


But then, I hit this rut...where fluff just doesn't satisfy.  And I know...I know...I'm due for some pain.  And I try and psych myself up and build my courage.  ...I'm kinda at that point right now.  I'm holiday-book'd out.  And I need something to make me feel...just...feel something.  


So here's what I'm carefully eyeing.  No decisions yet.  No declarations of "I'm going in!" yet.  Just...looking...